All posts are of my personal opinion. I do not edit myself or sugar coat things. If you are easily offended this blog might not be for you.

Much love,

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Duggars...Need I Say More?

The Duggars aired a special on TLC this week called "20 Duggars, 20 Years" or something like that.  No I did not watch it.  I am so disturbed by this family that I am not sure I can describe it, but let me try.

In my mind all I think about is poor Duggar Mother Hen's uterus screaming for a break.  I'm picturing a deflated balloon that has been stretched for so long the skin of it is translucent.  One of these days it might just revolt and fall out of her. 

Another thing.  When you have given birth to almost 20 children are you still considered a woman or a slippin-slide?  (So nasty)

Ok, enough of my being mean.  Let me tell you about an ex-friend of mine who is 4th in a total of 12 children.  He has psychological issues that I'm not even sure a therapist and drugs could help.  Everything to him is a competition, even best friend's girlfriends were a conquest.  When you are an older child with that many younger siblings you never truly get to just be a kid.  By the time you understand "don't drop the new baby" you are a parent.  He and his older siblings were expected to help his mother parent each and every one of the younger kids.  This is so selfish on the parent's part.  If you want lots of kids, by all means go for it, but don't have so many that YOU can not parent them.  Your older kids want to play ball, not change diapers.  Also when you have that many kids you can not give them the individual attention they deserve, this is where his psychological problems came from.  It is one thing to fight over a bathroom, but when you have to fight for your parent's love and attention it never turns out well. 

Even psychologists who have studied family units say in a two parent household where both parents are actively participating in the kids lives you should not have more than 3 kids.  If you exceed this number the children do not get the proper amount of individual attention they need to develop into happy fully functioning human beings.

12 in my ex-friend's family was bad, but with the 19th duggar in inqubation this is just ridiculous.  This should be illegal to have that many kids.  But in my opinion you should have to take an IQ test to have any in the first place. 

I'm gonna go be nauseous now.


DirtyDisher said...

I agree. The Duggars are nuts. Everyone says they can have as many kids as they want, and I think so too, but, their "buddy system" sucks. And I vote slippin slide.

Anonymous said...

Well, with all your experience as a parent I guess you have some amazing insight as to how parenting should be done....Oh, wait...your not masrried and have no children...however, you and the un-named psychologists are probably better equipped to advise on parenting. As for the "slip-n-slide" remark I think that would probably apply more appropriately to unmarried premiscuous females.

Cricut Crazy Lisa said...

WOW, I am a little disturbed about a few things that you remarked about. I don't think the number of children you have determines whether or not they are disturbed. It is more to do with your ability to parent. I know people from small families who by no means could be considered "normal". Also, if you'll read about the most infamous serial killers, most were either from "only-child" homes or significantly smaller families than the Duggars.
I myself am number six of seven children. My siblings are well adapted fully functioning adults. Save one....the baby. He at 39 is still a spoiled brat.

If parents offer their children the nurturing that is needed, and listen when they speak; they learn that they are important and that they are valued. I don't know of any homes where both parents have jobs that the children are not required to buddy up and lend a hand. Certainly, in a single parent home their help would be even more neccesary. I will have to agree with the anonymous one above about your "slippin slide" remark. To be honest that was somewhat vulgar.

Last note, coming from a larger family there is an intense bond, you always have someone to talk to and even if one brother or sister is busy with something else then you have the option to call another. The support system is amazing in larger families.

Just my opinion!

Sole` said...

Perhaps. I am not saying a larger family unit (between 5-8) kids could not work well. I think it also depends on if the kid's ages are spread out a little. My ex-friends mother got pregnant within a month-a few months after each child. Her husband makes a 6 figure income and barely can support them. They live in a shack basically and it only had 4 bedrooms tops so there was no privacy or even a quiet place to do homework. My ex-friend was expected to parent the younger ones. I'm not talking about help, it was like he was a parent given all the responsibility he was given. The slippin-slide remark actually came from him. That is how he used to describe his own mother (that was some of the mild resentment he showed to them in covos with me). When I voice my opinion about this family it is from my personal observations of my ex-friends family (who only had 12 - with 1 being special needs) and what I have read from doctors who study family units. I really don't see how you could give almost 20 children (the younger ones requiring much more) all the individual attention they need. To spend 30 minutes concentrating on each child that is born so far (18) that would be 9 hours out of the day and 30min per child is no where enough.

Lisa - I am glad your family figured out how to work it. Its just my personal observation that most families don't figure it out (Look at the tragedy that is John and Kate).

Anonymous - Go troll somewhere else. At least have the guts to comment with your name. I don't troll other ppls blogs so I don't appreciate it either. And despite popular belief most young females I know are not permiscuous. I actually get less than someone who has been married for 30 years because my partner of 5 yrs is serving in Afghanistan.